The Paradox of Alcohol

While I was on vacation, one of the adults, M, came up to me.  She had had a few drinks and was "finely tuned", shall we say.  M is a lovely person- very kind, friendly, caring.  She asked me,  "So you're not drinking at all?  It's so great that you're getting healthy and fit! Isn't it hard to stop drinking?"

"No, stopping drinking has actually been my favorite part!  Everything has come from that decision, it's like running and everything else feels great now."

"It's just a big thing to do though- not drinking!"

"No, it's not that big a deal really.  Once it's down it just fades into the background. Hey, Mom and I were talking about going kayaking tomorrow- do you want to come?"  I switched the subject and we moved on to something else.

It is such a funny thing, this drinking and not drinking.  It was and it wasn't hard to stop.  The actual not picking up a drinking is so easy, so simple.  

The trick is in the mindset.  It's tricky to change one's focus from drinking to, well, just about anything else.  It takes work and acceptance.  I will be forever grateful to authors Allen Carr and Jason Vale, because it was their work that showed me that there was nothing to gain from drinking. Both have the readers continue to drink while the book is being read, so that you can test their theories for yourself.  It sounds incredible to anyone who drinks but truly, there is just zero benefit to drinking.

Now, when I am with people who are drinking, I can see people who are basically "normies", who have one, maybe two beers over hours, and I can see that they are not getting anything really out of the drink. They aren't getting buzzed.  They are doing it to be "sociable" and might as well had a soda.   And I can see the rest of the people drinking being affected by the alcohol, and it no longer looks fun or enjoyable to me.  And certainly it is no fun to be trying to control the drinking, and this is so clear to see, at least with the women.  I see them trying to drink water between wines to manage to not get too drunk but still be able to drink; trying to wait for enough time to pass between drinks so they can get buzzed but not too buzzed; knowing they "should" stop but not wanting to, eyeing the bottle.  I did all of that, except I was going to drink more once they left or I got home. I don't know if any of the women in my group do that, probably not. I can say though, it is much less work to drink only tea or other non-alcoholic drinks!

One of the real eye-openers while I was on vacation was just how much LESS I think about drinking now.  And that includes going to one recovery meeting/week, plus reading blogs, listening to sober pod casts, etc.  I thought that I still had a pretty big focus on alcohol...until I was in a house full of drinkers.  Of the people there, I would guess that one or two have "alcohol problems", everyone else are just fairly heavy drinkers.  People were talking about drinking or actually drinking the entire day long.  They were talking about going to the beach, and having wine later.  Going kayaking and being so ready for that well-earned martini afterwards.  Going fishing and could they they bring beer.  Etc.

Outside of vacation, I often wonder if I would be thinking even less about alcohol if my husband didn't drink.

Because it has been true for me:  as time has gone on, I think about drinking less and less.  It's been nearly a full 10 months, and I spend the vast majority of my time focused on living life, enjoying my son, prepping for the next challenge, the next task.  I don't think about drinking when something good or bad happens, or when I've got something to celebrate.  One day I hope I think about it only very rarely, maybe at holidays because I'll be back around family. One day...

It's funny to me that something so little has the power to have such a huge effect on individuals, family, and society.  I look forward to the day when alcohol is just nothing to me,  because it is basically gone from my life.  I read or watch Jason Vale's latest work on juicing and fitness, and it sure looks like alcohol is but a passing thought to him. There is no alcohol in his juicing resorts. I doubt he has many drinkers around him at all.  He self-identifies as a "non-drinker".  I like that and will have a post up soon about it.

For now though, I am pondering that paradox, how something so small- just a drink!!!- could be so powerfully embedded into our culture.  We have a very powerful delusion going on, a fixed false belief that alcohol makes everything better.  It is among the most successful advertising in the world. Alcohol does not make anything better, and that is the truth.  It's just a neuron-killing high, it makes you think you feel better as it takes away your money, your health, your brain cells, your liver cells, your time, your memory.  No thanks. I'll stick with tea!