Merry Christmas, happy holidays!
It's been a very busy week! I finished Christmas shopping, wrapped the presents, bought our goods for hosting Christmas dinner. My sister came home for the holidays, which was great! We've either hosted or gone out somewhere for the past three days, and my mother-in-law is coming over tonight. It's the last of our holiday outings; we will spend the next week relaxing in our home.
Even though it's been busy, it's been lovely. I've felt relaxed, it's all gone smoothly. I tend to feel more grateful and aware of the superior loveliness of a life without booze on the holiday occasions, when there is so much of it around. I sometimes worry that I'm becoming an alcohol nazi, because it all looks like alcohol addiction to me. I look at people in my family drinking, and very few people would ever think they had a problem, just like no one thought that I had a problem. But it still looks gross to me. Red faces, loud voices, exaggerated emotions, slurring words, "I better have some water, thanks" before drinking another three glasses so wine. That's "normal" in my family.
I am so incredibly grateful to be "abnormal", feeling good, clear-headed. I can't imagine ever willingly doing that to myself again. I do still have thoughts like "it would nice to have a drink" or "maybe someday I'll have a glass of wine", but these thoughts are fleeting. I know that the idea that alcohol has any benefit is a societal delusion.
One very beautiful thing this year is that my husband is not drinking. He has gone on a medication which is toxic to the liver, his doctor told him that he couldn't even have a glass of wine at Thanksgiving unless he did not mind ending up on a liver transplant list. He has had a few drinks on at least one, and I suspect two or three, occasions. But he has been almost entirely sober since early November, and it's rocked, at least for me. We are getting along incredibly well. He has appeared, and he's said, that this has been among his favorite Christmases ever, we've had a great time! He has another 7 months to go on the medication. I don't know what will happen once he's done the medication, but I am just going to enjoy it for now.
