This has been the first really hard day- the first time my evil Molester has shown his cunning, trying to get back in. It's gotten worse as the day's gone, moving into Saturday night:
"You don't really have an issue. What's one or two beers every 30 days or so? Totally acceptable! TOTALLY acceptable, in fact you might even call it NORMAL. Come on....what's the worst that can happen? You have three? You can sleep in tomorrow. This is your chance to see that you are actually a normal drinker. Don't miss out!"
Yeah? And FUCK YOU.
Luckily, there is an easily identifiable, clear, shiny, bright trigger, and I feel stupid about it. It is, of all things, FOOTBALL.
But not just *any* football- Playoff football.
And not even just Playoff Football. It is Steelers Playoff Football.
I have been a Steelers fan for twenty years. If there is ever an association in my mind, it is Steelers/football and beer. If I had any near-beer in the house, I'd be throwing 'em back right about now. In fact, if they they win tonight I will likely get some near-beer for next weekend. Maybe, we'll see.
But for today, we are not done yet. It is the Penultimate Playoff Game for any good Steeler fan: the Beloved Steelers vs the Hated Ravens. Talk about a rivalry! My heartbeat has been elevated all day. I lived in Pittsburgh for years in the 90s and in Baltimore in the 00's- it is stupid but I take these games way too seriously! I am more stressed about this Wildcard Playoff game then I'd be if this was the Superbowl. For real.
The only good thing about this being the Ravens- like effing hell am I breaking my streak for the freaking RAVENS. Nope. Not gonna happen.
I have more to blog about- I especially wanted to clarify about my post yesterday and my guy. I put that he is a buzzed drinker and I want to clarify that really that is the case. He very rarely appears more than mildly buzzed. One of the things I really hate about myself right now is that I am watching others' drinking and really want to NOT be judgmental. Right now, hubby is playing with our son. I am the only football lover in the house, so he's keeping our little one occupied. Love him!
Anyway, the game is back on so I'm off the blog.GO STEELERS! (And stay sober, my friends!)
UPDATE: My Steelers lost. If I'd given in, I would be sad that not only did my Steelers lose, but I would have lost my mojo. I'd wake up tired, regretful, hungover. Even if the Steelers had won and I'd given in and had beer (then I am sure more...) I'd still have lost. There is NOTHING to be gained and alcohol could not have made this night any better- only worse.
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